The Problem with Casinos

Math. That’s the problem that I have with casinos. Once I realize how badly the odds are stacked against me, it’s hard to have much fun. To me, a slot machine is really just a broken Coke machine. You stick your money in, and nothing else happens.

Bad Odds

In a modern casino, there are zillions of slot machines. Some look like old-fashioned slot machines with cherries, bells, bars and sevens, but a lot of them are based on modern franchises. Nowadays you can play a Star Trek or Star Wars machine. But really, they’re all just the same: Two seconds of blinking lights and flashing icons followed by a loss of money. Or if you’re really lucky, you might even win a nickel. Not a real nickel, mind you, but five cents worth of credit which you’ll blow on your very next spin.

Bad Air

It’s not just the odds that turn me off of casinos. In a world where indoor smoking is a thing of the past, casinos are an odd anachronism. There’s something almost alien about people smoking inside the casino. And though most casinos are very well ventilated, they’re still too smoky for me. I can’t stay on the casino floor for more than an hour or two before the smoke gives me a headache. It would be enough to ruin my experience even if I were winning.

A Better Alternative to Casinos

I wish casinos were more like arcades. Why should I drive up to a reservation in Oklahoma when I can go to the Dave & Buster’s up the street? There I can blow my money on skee-ball and shoot ’em up games. A lot of the games there are very addictive, and its easy to blow a lot of money. But at least with arcade games, you get some real entertainment, more than just flashing lights. Plus there’s no smoking. So next time you want to gamble, try the arcade instead. Your brain, wallet and lungs will thank you.