The Fallout Shelter Sign

Original Fallout Shelter sign
Triforce Fallout Shelter sign
Zombie Shelter sign

It is one of the icons of the Cold War: the fallout shelter sign. In an age where global thermonuclear war was just an inch way, the United States Government had to find a way to protect its citizens. To ease fears of nuclear annihilation, a Civil Defense program was established, introducing civic warning sirens, duck-and-cover drills, and public fallout shelters. The idea was that, in the case of World War III, people could gather at these public shelters to avoid the worst of the nuclear fallout. As a kid born in the dying days of the Cold War, I always imagined these shelters to be quite elaborate, but in most cases, they were just basements and windowless rooms in existing government buildings. In many ways, the Civil Defense program was a lie. Ducking and covering is not going to protect a student from an atom bomb, and fallout shelter signs were more important than the shelters themselves. But was the fallout shelter sign an effective one. I think not.

From a graphic design perspective, the fallout shelter sign is very well done. It is a simple geometric design that it easy to reproduce and easy to remember. It’s black and yellow colors are made to be visible in low light. It’s the type of iconic imagery that, as a graphic designer, I can only hope to mimic. But despite the aesthetic, the fallout shelter sign fails to communicate its core message. Remember, the Civil Defense program was a propaganda campaign. The whole point of fallout shelter signs is to tell the public, “Everything will be okay.” But with its sharp angles and jarring colors, the sign says the opposite. It is a constant reminder that death can strike at any moment, dooming as all. (It didn’t help that the triple triangle design looks an awful lot like the radioactive trefoil symbol.) Instead of calming the people, these signs kept Cold War Americans in a state of panic.

Today these signs are relics. Even though the world is still at risk from nuclear weapons, the panic of the Cold War has eased. In the age defined by terrorists and other non-state actors, emergency plans are a good idea. But we don’t need to get carried overboard. I thought about trying to design my own fallout shelter sign, one that would better communicate the idea of “shelter” to both English and non-English speakers. But I decided against it. The world doesn’t need more fallout shelter signs. It’s just another form of security theater. In the end, the fallout shelter sign is an example of good design used for the wrong application.

Garage Sale Dinosaurs

Jurassic Garage Sale SignI was probably around 13 or 14. My parents decided to have a garage sale, I went through my closet picking out all the old toys I didn’t want anymore. Now when you’re that age, right on the cusp of high school, you think you’re a full-fledged grownup. I was not at all sentimental about my childhood, so I was pretty ruthless in getting rid of my toys. I would have chucked them all if not for my mom and my sister. Nevertheless, I pared my toys down pretty hard, including my collection of plastic dinosaurs.

I had about seven or eight of these dinosaur toys. They were hollow plastic figurines nine to twelve inches in length. They weren’t name brand toys; they weren’t even a matching set of toys, like the Astrosniks I collected. These were just some toys that my family had bought for me over the course of several years. My toy dinosaurs were well-loved, and well-worn, but as a nascent teenager, I had no interest in them. So I put them in the garage sale, and sold them all in an afternoon.

A couple of years later, I was at a thrift shop down the road, where I spotted my toy dinosaurs in a bin. I knew they were mine because it was the same mismatched collection of toys. Like I said, these particular dinosaurs were not a set. They were made by different manufacturers in different years and bought and different times. They were only together because they were mine. At least I suspected they were. So I picked up my favorite dinosaur, the T-Rex, and looked for a small hole in his chest, a manufacturing defect. Sure enough, the hole was there. It was definitely my T-Rex. Still, I didn’t buy it. I was a high-schooler, and I didn’t need a dinosaur toy.

Just a couple of months later, my dad and I were at an antique store, directly across the street from that same thrift shop. There I saw my dinosaurs again, for three times the price. I wasn’t about to pay more for them now, and besides, I thought, why not let some kid buy them? A second grader when enjoy these toys a lot more than a high school junior.

Four or five years after that, I went home from college to hang out with my parents. We took a road trip down Grand River Avenue toward Detroit. There we stopped in a little town called Howell. There, inside of a new antique mall, were my garage sale dinosaurs. Again I checked for the hole in the T-Rex. It was there. There might have been one or two missing, but there were one or two extra to make up for it. It had been so long since I owned them, I wasn’t quite sure. But I knew the T-Rex was mine, as well as the apatosaurus and several others. Still I was hesitant to buy them. At this point, they were worth a whole lot more than I had sold them for.

“Come on, Steve,” said my dad. “This is the third time you’ve run across the toys. I think the universe is trying to tell you something.”

“It could just be a coincidence.”

“Let me buy them for you? Will you let me do that?”

“Okay.”

Reunited with my childhood toys after a decade, I decided to hang on to them. Maybe I could pass them on to my kids. So I put them in a box. When it came time to sell all my stuff and move to Samoa, I didn’t dare put my dinosaurs in the auction. Nor did I try to sell them when I got back to the mainland. Instead I’ve hung on to these mismatched toys well into my thirties. When you’re fourteen years old, you want nothing to do with your childhood, but as you get older, you realize that there are some pieces of your youth worth holding onto.

The Problem with Casinos

Lucky Seven
Lucky Seven
Lucky Seven

Math. That’s the problem that I have with casinos. Once I realize how badly the odds are stacked against me, it’s hard to have much fun. To me, a slot machine is really just a broken Coke machine. You stick your money in, and nothing else happens.

In a modern casino, there are zillions of slot machines. Some look like old-fashioned slot machines with cherries, bells, bars and sevens, but a lot of them are based on modern franchises. Nowadays you can play a Star Trek or Star Wars machine. But really, they’re all just the same: Two seconds of blinking lights and flashing icons followed by a loss of money. Or if you’re really lucky, you might even win a nickel. Not a real nickel, mind you, but five cents worth of credit which you’ll blow on your very next spin.

It’s not just the odds that turn me off of casinos. In a world where indoor smoking is a thing of the past, casinos are an odd anachronism. There’s something almost alien about people smoking inside the casino. And though most casinos are very well ventilated, they’re still too smoky for me. I can’t stay on the casino floor for more than an hour or two before the smoke gives me a headache. It would be enough to ruin my experience even if I were winning.

I wish casinos were more like arcades. Why should I drive up to a reservation in Oklahoma when I can go to the Dave & Buster’s up the street? There I can blow my money on skee-ball and shoot ‘em up games. A lot of the games there are very addictive, and its easy to blow a lot of money. But at least with arcade games, you get some real entertainment, more than just flashing lights. Plus there’s no smoking. So next time you want to gamble, try the arcade instead. Your brain, wallet and lungs will thank you.

Nobody Wants a Facebook Phone

Facebook Phone - Reach Out and Poke SomeoneFor the last couple of years, Facebook has toyed with the idea of its own smart phone. Last week, they took the first real step toward that end. However, instead of spending gazillions of dollars to develop a Facebook phone, they have debuted an add-on interface for existing Android devices. Called “Facebook Home”, this new software replaces the lock screen and home screen with a specialized version of Facebook. Let’s look at the advantages and disadvantages of this new system.

Advantages

For people who use their phones mostly for Facebooking, the idea of Facebook Home is a good one. This is especially true for people using cheap, prepaid Android phones. People who are used to first world luxury forget that there are a whole lot of people out there without proper computers. Believe it or not, people in third world countries like to Facebook, too. These people are the target market, not the rich and middle class people using iPhones and expensive Android sets. Then there are the people who can afford computers, but don’t know how to use them. They may also want to try out Facebook home, since that’s all they’re using their devices for anyway.

Disadvantages

For people who have the resources and know-how, Facebook Home offers few advantages. By replacing the home screen, it makes your other apps harder to execute, and by replacing the lock screen, it allows people to access your Facebook without your permission. (After all, the lock screen is there for a reason. It’s meant to lock your phone down so people can’t mess with it.) And even if no one messes with your phone, it’s still a huge threat to your personal privacy, since it gives Facebook even more of your personal information.

If Facebook Home does manage to take off, I could see the company coming out with a hardware version of the “Facebook Phone”. I don’t think it’ll prove that popular, however. As much as people like to check Facebook on their phones, they do a lot of other things with these marvels of twenty-first century design. If I were a betting man, I wouldn’t put my money on a Facebook phone.

The Cat in the Table

Nyan Cat UHaul TrailerMy sister had a gray toy cat as a kid, but she wanted a real kitty. My dad asked around and found a charcoal-colored kitten with a white spot on his tummy. My sister named him Starbrite, after her favorite toy. Starbrite was our only cat for a number of years (though we also had a dog.) He was a neutered indoor housecat, but he loved to get outside and roll around in the garden.

A year or two after we got Starbrite, we moved to a new house, just a couple of miles away. To keep Starbrite from getting outside during the move, my mom locked him in the basement bathroom, and put a sign on the door saying “Cat Inside: Do Not Open”. Well guess what? The stupid movers opened the door. We weren’t sure when it happened, but by the time we got everything moved over to the new house, Starbrite was gone.

Fighting back tears, I helped my mom and sister search the old house for the cat. We looked inside and out, but there was no sign of Starbrite. After a while, we packed up the remaining items and went over to the new house. There we tried to unpack and take our minds off of the cat. After an hour or two of unpacking, my mom and sister went back to the old house to look again while my dad went outside to work on the lawn. As I puttered around the living room, I heard a meow. It sounded like it was coming from outside, so I went and looked.

I didn’t see any cats outside, but I could still hear a very faint meow. Now it sounded like it was coming from inside, so I went back into the house. The meows were intermittent, but they were coming from the corner of the living room. I looked behind the table in the corner, but there was no sign of Starbrite. Just more meowing. Then I looked at the table itself. It was a large corner table, upholstered to blend in with the sectional sofa. The table had a built-in roll-out ottoman. I pulled out the ottoman and got down under the table. When I did, I could see there was a cavity within the table. I couldn’t see the cat, but I could hear him. Still, I didn’t want to give up hope until I saw him. I ran to the kitchen and opened a can of tuna. I brought the tuna to the table and called his name till he came out.

When he finally slinked out of the table cavity, Starbrite looked around the unfamiliar house, freaked out, and jumped back inside the table. He didn’t even touch the tuna. Still, I had seen him with my own eyes, and I knew he was okay. I went outside and told my dad the good news. A few minutes later, my mom and sister came back to the new house. They were both in tears, since there was no sign of Starbrite at the old house. They certainly didn’t expect him to be at the new place. But there he was, shaken but safe. It must have been quite an experience for him, traveling to the new house inside of a table, but he made it, and that was all that mattered.

Starbrite went on to live another decade or so, staying with my family up till I went to college. After his ordeal, my family got a lot wiser when it came to moving cats. Never again will we trust a sign on a door to keep the cat(s) safe.

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