Fun with Esperanto

Esperanto Dharma LogoBack in my high school days, I spent a lot of time in the public library. One day I discovered an old red book that was an introduction to Esperanto. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, Esperanto is an artificial language (also called a constructed language or a conlang). Unlike a natural language like English or French, Esperanto was invented by one man, a 19th century Polish Jew named L. L. Zamenhof. Zamenhof lived in an area of central Europe where there were a half-dozen languages in use, and he thought things would be a lot simpler (and more peaceful) if everyone had a single, neutral language to speak. So he cobbled together bits and pieces of other languages to make his own. The result was a language called “Esperanto” (“one who hopes”). As a teenager, I was fascinated by it. And while I couldn’t speak it fluently, I think it’s a fun thing to learn.

Update

I have to say I was amazed at the response to this short little article. Unlike so many other constructed languages, Esperanto has a strong community to support it, both online and in real life. I’ve enjoyed hearing from Esperantists from around the world. Dankon!

Adventures on eBay

eBay Logo in Papyrus FontBack in college I made some extra cash selling stuff on eBay. My dad collected antiques, and long before my family decided to sell things off wholesale, he decided to sell some stuff online. As the resident Internet geek, I set up an eBay account and started getting items ready. My dad went to a lot of antique stores and flea markets, so we had plenty of stock. Mostly it was old watches and cameras, though we sold a variety of other things as well.

It sounded like a great way to make some good money in a hurry, but in truth it was bust-ass hard work. First I had to photograph each item, then crop the photo and make it look good without getting to Photoshop heavy. Then I had to write the copy and set the starting price/reserve price. Then I had to wait a week, answering questions while working on other items. And then came the most labor intensive part, the shipping.

While the other steps could be automated so some extent, there was no template for shipping. Each item had to be wrapped individually and driven to the post office for shipping. Maybe it was just me. I liked the photography and copywriting (it was practice for this blog, after all), but dealing with the dusty old items and making sure things arrived in a timely manner, well, that was harder. It didn’t help that I was still an undisciplined 20-year-old. Without a boss watching over me and an hourly wage, it was easy to slack off. Then I would have a bunch of irate customers. That made the whole operation more unpleasant, which made me want to slack off even more.

After a few months of this, I gave it up, went down to the mall, and got a job schlepping around furniture and Christmas ornaments while listening to canned music. It wasn’t an improvement, but it wasn’t a demotion either. It was just another way to make a living, until I could get a degree and figure out my life.

No Downside to Mass Transit

Mass Transit RoundelThere’s no downside to more mass transit. Yeah, it costs money to build in the short term, but it’s an investment worth making. Despite the sluggish economy, America would benefit from more trains and buses. Building new train lines sounds expensive, but it’s an investment in our future. Investing in public transportation creates jobs and stimulates the economy. I’ve seen that happen in Dallas. Whenever they open a new train station here, it’s often followed by a shopping center, office space, or mixed use development.

Improving our transportation infrastructure also reduces pollution and traffic, since people will drive less when presented with a reasonable alternative. Furthermore, the increased use of trains and buses promotes health, since taking a bus or train requires more walking than driving does. Best of all, mass transit is an investment that builds upon itself. A single rail line is only good for people going from Point A to Point B, but as you expand the network and connect it to nationwide infrastructure, it becomes more useful to more people. When it comes to train systems, the more you put in, the more you get out. It may cost more money in the short term, but in the long term, there’s no downside to mass transit.

Taco Bell Pizza Hut

Taco Bell Pizza Hut Parody SignHave you ever wondered what Colonel Sanders’ fried chicken tasted like? I bet it was nothing like the crap that KFC serves nowadays. How about the tacos first served up by Glen Bell? (Yes, Taco Bell is named after its founder, not after a chiming metal instrument.) And then there’s Pizza Hut. Even in my lifetime, their quality has fallen off a cliff. When I was a kid, I enjoyed going out to a red-roofed Pizza Hut for a nice family dinner. Now Pizza Hut’s brand is more closely associated with reheated mini pizzas served at a Combination Taco Bell Pizza Hut.

Taco Bell, Pizza Hut and KFC are all owned by Louisville-based conglomerate called Yum! Brands (hereby referred to without the ridiculous exclamation point.) Until a couple of years ago, Yum Brands also owned the rights to A&W and Long John Silvers. With five major restaurant chains under their umbrella, Yum Brands decided to capitalize on their diverse portfolio. Instead of just selling tacos or just selling fried chicken, they built combination restaurants. The idea was that if a family was driving down the freeway, and the parents wanted tacos and the kids wanted pizza, they could get it all in one place. It sounds like a good idea, until you remember the expression “Jack of all trades, master of none”. In creating these multibranded restaurants, Yum Brands stretched well beyond its core competencies, leading to a inferior customer experience.

Of the three major brands that Yum owns today, Pizza Hut has been hardest hit. The reason is obvious. KFC and Taco Bell were always discount fast food brands. As a kid, my family went to Taco Bell in the bad times and Pizza Hut in the good times. So when you run across a Combination Taco Bell Pizza Hut, it’s really just a Taco Bell with some frozen pizzas. It’s never a Pizza Hut with some taco makings. And therein lies the real problem with combination restaurants. By combining multiple brands into one restaurant, you have to simplify things to the lowest common denominator. In doing so, you cheapen your brand, and in the long run, ruin your business in search of a cheap buck.

St. Louis Style Pizza

Italian Flag with Gateway Arch

There is a large Italian population in St. Louis, and there are some very good Italian restaurants there. Though St. Louis Style Pizza is unlike anything you’d get in Italy.

One of the pleasures of traveling is sampling the local fare. For example, you can get pizza anywhere, but if you go to New York, you’ll get a large, foldable slice, and if you go to Chicago, you’ll get a thick, cheesy pie. Just a couple hundred miles south of the Windy City, the pizza goes from very thick to very, very thin. St. Louis Style Pizza isn’t as well known as its counterparts in New York or Chicago, but if you’re ever in that part of the world, it’s something you ought to try. Let’s take a look at what makes the pizza in St. Louis so unique

Cracker-Thin Crust

St. Louis Style Pizza has very thin crust. Cracker thin. It’s unleavened and very crispy, so you can’t fold it like you would a slice of New York Style Pizza. Instead you get it cut into little three-inch squares. Since the pizza itself is still round, this leaves little one-bite wedge-shaped corners. These are my favorites.

Sweet Sauce

The tomato sauces used in St. Louis are often a little bit sweeter than elsewhere in the country, often with a little extra oregano. This is most apparent with another St. Louis staple, an appetizer known as toasted ravioli. Despite the name, toasted ravioli are usually breaded and deep fried, then served with a marinara dipping sauce. The same sauce is used on the pizza, though there’s usually not a lot of it on the pizza. Because when push comes to shove, the most important ingredient in St. Louis Style Pizza is the cheese.

Provel Cheese

My family grew up with provel cheese, and when we moved from St. Louis to Michigan in the early 1990s, my parents got blank stares when they asked for it at the supermarket. Most Michiganders assumed they meant provolone. In fact, provolone is a part of provel cheese, along with Swiss and white cheddar. Provel is, strictly speaking, a process cheese product, an invention of mid-20th century Midwesterns. It’s not an authentic Italian blend, but an American innovation. And like other process cheeses, like American cheese or Velveeta, provel cheese is soft and melty. On a fresh pizza, it is as soft as butter, though stickier with a slightly smoky flavor. To tell you the truth, it’s a polarizing taste. Some people love it and some people don’t. If you don’t care for it, you may find St. Louis Style Pizza disgusting. Though you won’t know unless you try it.

Standard Toppings

St. Louis Style Pizza comes available with the standard set of toppings, pretty much the same list of toppings as you’d find at any Domino’s or Papa John’s across America. Though if you really want the best St. Louis pizza experience, I recommend a deluxe pizza from Imo’s: sausage, mushroom, onion, green pepper and bacon. On the other hand, a plain old cheese pizza is pretty damn good too. If you ever go to St. Louis, make sure to try the pizza. It’s one of the best things the city has to offer.

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